That's What They Said: So Grown Up

(While looking at the "At the Airport" page of her Sticker Dolly Dressing book ...)
Amalia:  Mommy, look.  Those are NOT pants.
Me:  Nope, they're not.
Amalia:  Nope, they are cartilage.
Me:  Cartilage?  (looking at the picture of a suitcase)  Oh, you mean it's "cargo" or "luggage"?
Amalia:  Yeah, luggage.


(While attempting to play Clue with Baylor ... and yes, they were playing all the pieces)
Amalia:  (in a very "adultish voice")  Baylor, may I make a suggest?



(While going over my schedule for the day ...)
Me: And then at 12:30 I meet with Tamara ...
Amalia:  Who is Tarrara?
Me:  Tamara is my coach.
Baylor:  Your coach for what?
Me:  Well, I have this thing called ADD, which stands for Attention Deficit Disorder.  It means I have trouble paying attention.
(The kids looked at me knowingly at this point.)
Amalia:  So what does she do?
Me:  Well, she's helping me learn to organize my time better so I can get more done and be a better mommy for the two of you.  (smiling)
Amalia:  (looking at me doubtfully)  Be a better mommy?!?  But there is no such thing!
(And my day was officially made.)



Oma:  (excitedly) Baylor, would you like to wear a tie to Steve and Katie's wedding?
Baylor:  (emphatically)  No, I would not.  If I wear a tie, people will swarm around me and ask for my autograph!



Amalia:  Mommy, what are taste bugs?

That's What They Said: Practicality and Things You Didn't Know

(While they were playing pretend in the backseat ...)
Baylor:  Okay, I'm Santa and here I go down the chimney!
Amalia:  And I am Mrs. Claus!  I will help with the presents!
Baylor:  Yeah, you tell me who gets which presents!
Amalia:  (smiling)  Sure.
Baylor:  Okay, who lives here?
Amalia:  There is one kid.
Baylor:  And what does he want?
Amalia:  She wants ...
Baylor:  She?
Amalia:  She wants ... either a Bobo teddy bear or a doctor kit.
Baylor:  Hmm, I think I will give her the Bobo teddy bear.  Anyone else?
Amalia:  Yes, there is a baby.  You can put stuff in it's stocking.
Baylor:  And what about for the mom and dad?
Amalia:  Hmm, the mom and dad will get ... frying pans.
Me:  Ha!
Amalia:  And underwear!


(While Amalia was playing in the backseat as we waited for her brother to get out of school ...)
Me:  Amalia, what are you doing back there?
Amalia:  Shhhhh, Mommy!  I am looking for ghosts.
Me:  (whispering)  Oh, okay.
Amalia:  I can almost taste one.
Me:  (instantly confused)  Taste one?
Amalia:  Yeah.
Me:  Okay.  And what does a ghost taste like?
Amalia:  (as if the answer was obvious)  Peas and corn.



Amalia:  Daddy?  Did you know every kiss begins with "K"?


(While we were driving to run some errands ...)
Baylor:  Wait, what day is it?
Me:  It's the third.
Baylor:  Oh no!  The Ford Sales Event ends on January 6th!
Bryson:  What?
Baylor:  You know?  Where you can buy a Ford Focus or a Ford Fusion?  I wanna do that.  I want to buy one of those.
Me:  Well, sweetie, those cost thousands and thousands of dollars.  You don't have that much.
Baylor:  (in a reassuring voice)  But they give you cash back!


(At dinner ...)
Amalia:  Uh oh.  There is milk on my seat.
Me:  Did you spit it out on there?
Amalia:  (slowly, much like a detective) I believe so.



(At dinner again ...)
Me:  Soooo, I locked myself out of the car today.
Bryson:  How'd you do that?
Me:  I'm not sure.
Bryson:  How'd you get back in?
Me: Ah, the amazing Oma.  (my mom)
Baylor:  Did she move as fast as sweet sassy molassey?!
Bryson:  (laughing)  Well how fast is that, buddy?
Baylor:  (after thinking for a moment)  About 50.