That's What They Said: Revelations

Me:  Kiddos, we need to BE AT the doctor's office in a half an hour!  Please get ready!
Baylor:  Mollie!  We have to be at the doctor's office in a half an hour!  We have to hurry!
Amalia:  Baylorrr!  I don't know how to tell time!  I don't know what that means!
Baylor:  It means we have to hurry!
Amalia:  Okay!



(About 20 minutes before she is supposed to get up for school ...)
Amalia:  (calling) Mommyyyy!  Mommyyyy!  Mommyyyy!
Me:  Mollie, what's up?
Amalia:  Mommy, something really weird is happening.
Me:  Yeah, sweetie, what's that?
Amalia:  My teeth make the whole room shake.
Me:  What?
Amalia:  My teeth make the whole room shake!  This has never happened before.



Me:  Amalia, what did I ask from you this morning?
Amalia:  (whining)  To help you with the caaaar?
Me:  Well, I did ask you for that, but what did I ask for first?
Amalia:  (whining)  I don't knooooooow.
Me:  To not whine and carry on?
Amalia:  Ughhhh.
Me:  And please don't pout.
Amalia:  (whining)  But that's my main face!



Baylor:  Mom, did you make my bed?
Me:  No, but I can.
Baylor:  You can make me a new one when I outgrow the one I have now?
Me:  Oh, I thought you meant make the bed, like straighten out your sheets and stuff.  No, I didn't actually make your bed.  It used to be your crib, and we were able to change it into your toddler bed, then your current bed.  (Insert a very long conversation about who actually did all the conversions and what it took to accomplish them ...)  Besides, you won't outgrow this bed until you are in college or in a house of your own.
Baylor:  Really?
Me:  Yeah.  Most people don't get the size bed you have until they are older.  I didn't get your size bed until I was in seventh grade, and I don't know if Daddy ever had your size bed.  He got a bigger bed when he moved out on his own.
Baylor:  Wow, I am really lucky!  Well, and they probably didn't have as many beds back then.
Me:  Back when?  When Daddy got his bigger bed?
Baylor:  Yeah.
Me:  Baylor, that wasn't that long ago.  It was in the 2000s.
Baylor:  (astonished)  Whoa.  When did you get married?  How old were you when you got married?
Me:  We got married when I was 23, almost 24.
Baylor:  Wow, Mom, your life is passing by really quick!
Me:  (stunned silence)
Baylor:  I mean, you are really old, but it wasn't all that long ago that you got married.




(While I was hugging Bryson, Amalia came up and hugged my legs.)
Amalia:  Mommy, since you are giving one of your hugs away to Daddy I am going to give you one so you don't run out.
(And my heart melted.)

That's What They Said: The All Amalia Edition

Amalia:  Mom, that was a bad time for that bug to be here.
Me:  Yup, especially for the bug.  (He/she is now deceased.)
Amalia:  Moooom, because of that bug (pause for dramatic effect) my life changed forever.
Me:  (smiling at her mastery of drama)  Yeah?  It did?
Amalia:  Yeah.  Now, to me, this house is creepy.



(While we were playing the Brain Quest SMART game ...)
Bryson:  What country is just south of the United States?
Amalia:  Um ...
Bryson:  Okay.  I went there not too long ago.  Actually, I have been to two countries recently.  I went north to a country called Canada.  Then I went south to ...?
Amalia:  Los Angeles?
Me:  (smiling)  Well, sweetie, that is actually a city in the United States.
Amalia:  (silence)
Bryson: (sounding out the first letter)  Mmmm ...
Amalia:  Mississippi?
Bryson:  (smiling)  Nope.  Mmmmmme ...
Amalia:  (silence)
Bryson:  Mmmmmex ...?
Amalia:  Mexichussetts?
Bryson:  (smiling and laughing)  That is awesome.  But no.  Mexic ...?
Amalia:  (jubilantly)  Mexico!



(In the middle of a friendly game of Trouble and completely out of the blue ...)
Amalia:  (sobbing uncontrollably)  I miss loving the color piiiiiiiiink!





Amalia:  (running inside after taking a walk outside with Oma)  Mommy!  Mommy!  I finally have something to put in my diarrhea!
Me:  (laughing)  Your what?
Christine:  (laughing)  Wait, do you mean your diary?
Amalia:  (relieved)  Yes!  My diary!
Me:  (still laughing)  Yeah, sweetie?  What are you going to write in there?
Amalia:  Well, I am going to write, "Dead squirrel.  Oma threw three leaves (actually branches) and then we thought they winded back but it was a bunny!"

(Later on ...)

Amalia:  (talking about writing the letter "e" and how I write it a bit on the lazy/cursive side)  Mommy, I'll just put a crisp one in my diarrhea.

That's What They Said: Knowledge Here and There

Amalia:  (jabbering on at dinner)  At at my restaurant, we have a pasta special.  It has every kind of pasta on the Earth in it!  Including ravioli.  (pauses)  What's with the oli?!





Bryson:  What are our bodies made of?
Amalia:  Syllables?
Bryson: (smiling)  What?  No, not quite, honey.  They're made up of atoms.




Baylor:  (analyzing a song from Pink Floyd's The Wall)  "We don't need no education"?  That's a double negative.




(At dinner ...)
Amalia:  You know?  Milk is one of my favorite foods now!
Me:  You know what, Mollie?  Milk is one of my favorite drinks, too.
Amalia:  Ooh, and water, too!  I love water!
Me:  I like water, too, but it's not always my favorite.
Amalia:  (very confused)  Why is it not always your favorite?
Me:  Well, sometimes it is really good, but sometimes it can have a funky taste.  Ooh, but a nice cold glass of good-tasting water on a warm summer day?  Now that's awesome.
Amalia:  Yeah, and you don't want to drink boiling water.  Now, THAT would be bad.
Me:  (VERY confused)  Boiling water?
Amalia:  Yeah, boiling water.  You know?  Remember when Grandma drank that bad-tasting boiling water when we went out with her?
Me:  (realizing she meant carbonated water)  Ah, yes, I do.  (smiling)
Amalia:  Yeah, and she said we could taste it, and Baylor wouldn't , but I did and then I spit it out.  And it got ... on one ... of my French fries.

That's What They Said: A Little of Him and a Whole Lot of Her

Baylor:  Mom, do you know why I am going to study rocks?
Me:  (not hearing him correctly)  I bet you are.
Baylor:  (not caring that I didn't hear him correctly)  I am because diamonds, hello?!




Amalia:  Mommy, I am Stinker Bell.
Me:  (after thinking for a brief moment)  Yup.
Amalia:  Okay, now I'm Amalia again.





Amalia:  Mommy, I want to cook my last game.
Me:  (completely confused)  You want to cook your last game?
Amalia:  Yeah, cook.  You know, what we did to Baylor's last game.
Me:  Ahh!  You want to toast your game!  (as in, clink glasses together at dinner kind of toast)





(Amalia informed me that she would be packing five dresses, along with other clothes she'd picked out, for an upcoming trip.)
Me:  Mollie, I think five dresses is a bit too many.  Can we try cutting it back to four?
Amalia:  (reluctantly)  Sure.  (surveys her dress choices and selects a pretty purple one)  I'll put back this one.
Me:  (sad that she didn't pick an old leopard print dress to put back)  Oh?  How come?
Amalia:  (in her "expert" voice)  Well, I just didn't think it was very Outer Banks-y.
Me:  (smiling)  Oh, really?  Is the leopard print dress "Outer Banks-y"?
Amalia:  Yes, it is.  And this purple dress isn't very putt-putt golf-y either.
Me:  Well there you go.




(After reading part of Magic Tree House book no. 35 ...)
Amalia:  (quite seriously)  Mommy, you do NOT want to be a duck when you meet Elvis Edison.
(That's supposed to be Thomas Alva Edison.  I have not had the heart to correct her.)

Baylor at Bat

I am so sorry for how little I have been posting lately.  Things have gotten unbelievably busy since before last Christmas and they haven't let up since.  One of the things keeping us busy as of late has been baseball.  We signed Mollie up for tee ball and Baylor up for coach pitch baseball this spring, and with both of their game schedules we have been up to our ears in bats, balls, and bases.

Mollie has had success playing tee ball, in no small part because they cannot strike out or be thrown out ... ever.  Each kiddo gets to swing until they hit and then run to first base, then second after the kid after them hits, then third, and so on until they go home - or until the last one in the lineup hits a "home run" and they all come home.  So it'd be tough to do poorly playing tee ball.

But coach pitch baseball is a lot different.  They do the usual three-strikes-and-you're-out rule and can get thrown out at any base.  Needless to say, Baylor, who had never played a game of baseball in his life before this spring, has struggled a bit.



Getting hit in the head during one's first batting practice doesn't make for a particularly good start, mind you.



More than that, he has struggled with this more than he has with anything else in his entire life.  The thing is, struggle is good for a person; it builds character and teaches perseverance.  But too much struggle, like an entire season of it, and the fun can drain right away.  We were starting to see improvement in him at each game, but I was also starting to notice here and there that he wasn't enjoying it; he was dragging his feet when getting ready to go, he was a lot more emotionally volatile on game days, and he seemed a little more dejected when walking away after striking out each inning.  We were all hoping he'd finally get a hit and start enjoying the game a little more.  Even his coach, who had seemed to give up on our boy a few weeks back, started pitching a little closer and giving him an extra pitch here and there to see if he could just get one hit.

And then it happened.



He got a hit!!!  You can hear and see just how excited the coach is that he finally did it, and at the end of the video you can hear his teammates say, "Baylor got his first hit!!"

And even more than that, he made it around the bases!  He ran for home with one out left, running better than we've ever seen before, and only got out at home because the other team made a very heads-up play at home plate.




It was a big day for the little man, and his team even voted to give him the game ball because of his efforts!

Hopefully this will be the beginning of more hits for Baylor, but even if it isn't, I am so incredibly proud of my little guy for sticking with it and working hard to achieve something that is so tough for him.

Way to go, Baylor!!

That's What They Said: Well That Makes Sense

Amalia:  Let's not name this ant.  We don't know if he's a boy or a girl.


Baylor:  My skull is really hard!
Amalia:  My skull is harder than a trillion donuts!



Me:  Kids, while I am getting the ladybug out of the living room can you set the table, please?
Both: Sure!
Baylor:  (to Mollie)  Mollie, let's do the Uptown Funk You Up!  (singing)  Up-town funk you up!  Uptown funk you up!  (on repeat)
Amalia:  (singing)  Up, down, punky row!  Up, down, punky row!
Baylor:  Mollie!  That is NOT how it goes.  It is (enunciating) Up Town Funk You Up. (then continues singing as usual) Uptown funk you up!
Amalia:  Ohhh!  Up-town funky row!  Uptown funky row!
(and then later ...)
Amalia:  Up-down punky row!  Up down punky row!

That's What They Said: Mollie-isms and Misplaced Trust

Me:  (upon realizing my adorable daughter was going to wear a plain black turtleneck, a'la Dieter, to school the next day)  Mollie, why are you wearing that tomorrow?
Amalia:  Oh!  Well, I am going to have a baby tomorrow!
Me:  Ah, I see.  Well, that's exciting!  (still not understanding about the black turtleneck connection but choosing to let it go)
Amalia:  Yup, but it is not in my tummy.
Me:  (now really not seeing the connection)  No?
Amalia:  Nope.  It's in my baby's grandma's tummy.
Me:  (beyond confused)  It is?
Amalia:  Yup, my baby's grandma is going to run it through.
Me:  (stumped but amused)  Alright.


(After opening a birthday card from Toys R Us and finding a $3 coupon inside ...)
Amalia:  (excitedly)  I have GOT to scissor this out!



Me:  (whispering)  Baylor, we need to talk about what you want to get your sister for her birthday.
Baylor:  (whispering hesitantly)  Um, I don't ... wait, whose money am I spending?
Me:  (whispering)  Mine.
Baylor:  Oh!  Okay!
Me: (whispering)  Okay, so I will give you $20 to spend on a gift for her.  Do you have an idea of what you'd like to get for her?
Baylor: (whispering)  Yes, a _________.
Me:  (whispering)  Well, Baylor, Daddy and I are actually taking care of that.
Baylor:  (excitedly whispering)  You are?!  Tell me about it!
Me: (whispering)  Well, Baylor, can you keep it a surprise?  It is really important that you keep it a surprise because your sister LOVES birthday surprises.  I thought about involving her in it and she didn't want to because then it wouldn't be a surprise.  Can you keep it a surprise?
Baylor:  (whispering earnestly)  Yes, I can.  I will keep it a surprise.
Me: (whispering)  So this is what we're doing.  (whispers the basics about the gift)
Baylor:  (frantically whispering the instant I stopped talking)  Uh oh!  (clasps hands over mouth)  I can't keep it a surprise!  I can't keep it in!
Me:  (loudly and laughing at it all)  What?!  Baylor!  You said you could!  (instantly learned my lesson)  You've got to!
Baylor:  I can't!  It's gonna burst out of me!  (clasps hands over mouth again)
Me:  (whispering)  Baylor, you have to keep this a surprise!  Did you lie to me about it or did you just not realize how cool the idea would be?
Baylor:  (whispering)  I didn't know it would be so cool!  I can't keep this in!
Me:  (upon realizing Amalia was nearby)  Hi, Mollie!
Amalia:  What was all the laughing for?
Me:  Well, here's what happened.  (rehashed the story, leaving out the key details)  And now he doesn't think he can keep it a secret.
Amalia:  I don't want to know.  I like surprises!
Me:  I know.  Can you tell that to him?  I don't think he believes me.
Amalia:  Baylor, I really like birthday surprises, okay?!
Baylor:  (worriedly)  But I CAN'T keep it in!  I have to tell!!!  (clasps hands over mouth again)
Me:  Baylor, you can always talk to me about it.
Baylor:  No!  That won't help!
Me:  Okay, well you could always tell the Mr. Bears!
Baylor:  (looking at me like I should already know this ...)  They can't keep a secret!

Baylor's First Grade Concert!

Here it is, at long last ... the video of Baylor's first grade concert (the bulk of it, anyway).  To say I am proud of him in light of his performance (and mere participation) in the event is an unbelievable understatement.  When he came on, looked happy and confident, and started singing I started to cry.  Our little guy, who would not participate at all in his preschool graduation and never once danced along during music and movement time in kindergarten, has come such a long way.

Such a long way.

And didn't he look super dapper?!  I might have to try getting him to wear a tie every day.

Enjoy!

That's What They Said: So Grown Up

(While looking at the "At the Airport" page of her Sticker Dolly Dressing book ...)
Amalia:  Mommy, look.  Those are NOT pants.
Me:  Nope, they're not.
Amalia:  Nope, they are cartilage.
Me:  Cartilage?  (looking at the picture of a suitcase)  Oh, you mean it's "cargo" or "luggage"?
Amalia:  Yeah, luggage.


(While attempting to play Clue with Baylor ... and yes, they were playing all the pieces)
Amalia:  (in a very "adultish voice")  Baylor, may I make a suggest?



(While going over my schedule for the day ...)
Me: And then at 12:30 I meet with Tamara ...
Amalia:  Who is Tarrara?
Me:  Tamara is my coach.
Baylor:  Your coach for what?
Me:  Well, I have this thing called ADD, which stands for Attention Deficit Disorder.  It means I have trouble paying attention.
(The kids looked at me knowingly at this point.)
Amalia:  So what does she do?
Me:  Well, she's helping me learn to organize my time better so I can get more done and be a better mommy for the two of you.  (smiling)
Amalia:  (looking at me doubtfully)  Be a better mommy?!?  But there is no such thing!
(And my day was officially made.)



Oma:  (excitedly) Baylor, would you like to wear a tie to Steve and Katie's wedding?
Baylor:  (emphatically)  No, I would not.  If I wear a tie, people will swarm around me and ask for my autograph!



Amalia:  Mommy, what are taste bugs?

That's What They Said: Practicality and Things You Didn't Know

(While they were playing pretend in the backseat ...)
Baylor:  Okay, I'm Santa and here I go down the chimney!
Amalia:  And I am Mrs. Claus!  I will help with the presents!
Baylor:  Yeah, you tell me who gets which presents!
Amalia:  (smiling)  Sure.
Baylor:  Okay, who lives here?
Amalia:  There is one kid.
Baylor:  And what does he want?
Amalia:  She wants ...
Baylor:  She?
Amalia:  She wants ... either a Bobo teddy bear or a doctor kit.
Baylor:  Hmm, I think I will give her the Bobo teddy bear.  Anyone else?
Amalia:  Yes, there is a baby.  You can put stuff in it's stocking.
Baylor:  And what about for the mom and dad?
Amalia:  Hmm, the mom and dad will get ... frying pans.
Me:  Ha!
Amalia:  And underwear!


(While Amalia was playing in the backseat as we waited for her brother to get out of school ...)
Me:  Amalia, what are you doing back there?
Amalia:  Shhhhh, Mommy!  I am looking for ghosts.
Me:  (whispering)  Oh, okay.
Amalia:  I can almost taste one.
Me:  (instantly confused)  Taste one?
Amalia:  Yeah.
Me:  Okay.  And what does a ghost taste like?
Amalia:  (as if the answer was obvious)  Peas and corn.



Amalia:  Daddy?  Did you know every kiss begins with "K"?


(While we were driving to run some errands ...)
Baylor:  Wait, what day is it?
Me:  It's the third.
Baylor:  Oh no!  The Ford Sales Event ends on January 6th!
Bryson:  What?
Baylor:  You know?  Where you can buy a Ford Focus or a Ford Fusion?  I wanna do that.  I want to buy one of those.
Me:  Well, sweetie, those cost thousands and thousands of dollars.  You don't have that much.
Baylor:  (in a reassuring voice)  But they give you cash back!


(At dinner ...)
Amalia:  Uh oh.  There is milk on my seat.
Me:  Did you spit it out on there?
Amalia:  (slowly, much like a detective) I believe so.



(At dinner again ...)
Me:  Soooo, I locked myself out of the car today.
Bryson:  How'd you do that?
Me:  I'm not sure.
Bryson:  How'd you get back in?
Me: Ah, the amazing Oma.  (my mom)
Baylor:  Did she move as fast as sweet sassy molassey?!
Bryson:  (laughing)  Well how fast is that, buddy?
Baylor:  (after thinking for a moment)  About 50.