That's What They Said: Misunderstandings

Me:  Mollie, what would you like for breakfast?
Amalia:  Um ... (thinks for a second)
Me:  Would you like some peanut butter toast?
Amalia:  What?  What did you say?
Me:  (enunciating)  I asked if you'd like some peanut butter toast.
Amalia:  (matter-of-factly)  Oh, I thought you said, "Asparagus."


Baylor:  (in his extra sweet voice) Mommy, I want to be like you.
Me:  Aww, buddy!  Really?!
Baylor:  Yeah, will you help me?  Will you help me be a better kid ... at ... FRACTIONS.
Me:  (smiling) Sure.
(Little does he know, fractions aren't my strong suit.)


(In the morning, Mollie had on a short-sleeved dress, so while she and I were talking I helped her put on a sweatshirt over top of that.  Usually she doesn't like to put sweatshirts or sweaters over clothes she is excited to wear, but she didn't balk so I plowed ahead.  We went through the entire day with her snug and warm in the sweatshirt over her dress.  As she was getting undressed, though ...)
Amalia:  (in hysterics)  Who did this?!  Who did this to me?!  Who put this on me?!?!
Bryson:  (completely confused at the sudden mood shift)  What?  What is going on, sweetie?
Amalia:  (even more upset)  WHO DID THIS TO ME?!  WHO PUT THIS ON ME?!
Me:  (hearing the commotion and sprinting up the stairs)  What's wrong?!
Bryson:  I have no idea.
Amalia:  (sobbing and tugging at the sweatshirt)  WHO PUT THIS ON ME?!?!
Me:  (chuckling and smiling)  Oh, sweetie, it was me.  I put it on you ... this morning.  Don't you remember?  (She shook her head as I took it off her.)
Bryson:  (under his breath to me)  Are you serious?
Me:  (under my breath to him)  I didn't think she had noticed.  I guess I was right.