A Year of Gratitude: Day 9 (a day late ... again)

I wrote the majority of this yesterday but was never able to grab another minute to finish it up and post it.  So I guess that's an improvement, right?

Today has been a rough day; my temper has been short, my list of grievances long.  Things were so crummy - in my head, anyway - that I was struggling to figure out what in the world I'd be grateful enough to write about in this post.  Pathetic, right?  I was relieved when nap/rest time hit so I could get a bit of a break, and then I went and pissed it away searching things on the internet and not eating enough lunch.  Then Baylor had the audacity to want to get up after a little over an hour of being alone.  The nerve, right?!  He was full of bouncy energy and was talking a blue streak.  Still exhausted from my stressful morning, I was less-than-thrilled to jump back into things with my little chatty Charlie.

I made it down to the living room after scooping up his clothes (he almost always takes them off, save his underwear, during his rest time) and his books.  There was Baylor, so happy to see me and so energetic.  He stood there and talk to me all about what we were going to do; sadly, in my exhaustion and irritation I don't even recall what he said.

And that's when it happened.

Suddenly, Baylor broke out in this happy, butt-wiggling, grinning-ear-to-ear dance in his Friday underwear (he rocks days-of-the-week underwear most of the time ... it's awesome).  I couldn't help but smile and laugh as I watched him shimmy around the room, dancing to his own groove.  It was exactly what I needed to bring me out of my funk, and in that moment I was so thankful for Baylor and his silly little dance.

Have a wonderful day!

A Year of Gratitude: Day 8 (a day late)

Today I am grateful for my sleep disorder, idiopathic hypersomnolence.  I know that probably sounds weird, and I am certainly not always happy to have it, but I am so grateful that at the end of nearly every day I am able to lay my head down and fall asleep within five minutes and stay asleep for the entire night as long as the kiddos don't wake me.  Last night I had a terrible night's sleep; I woke up at midnight and from then on I was awake on and off, all the while thinking it was time to get up.  When I finally dragged myself out of bed with my alarm clock, I felt grateful that this is not the norm for me.  Yes, most days I wake up feeling like I could sleep another 2, 3, ... 10 hours, but the time I have slept has been good and deep.  I have friends who have bouts with insomnia, and I feel lucky that sleep typically comes easy for me.

Have a wonderful day!

A Year of Gratitude: Day 7

Today I am grateful that Baylor likes school.  He ... likes ... school.  He likes it so much that he is totally bummed out that he won't get to go during the summer.  I hated school and dreaded nearly every day I went, so this is a big deal to me.  I am so grateful that his first introduction to school has been so positive, and I'm hoping this paves the way to more positive school experiences.

Have a wonderful day!

A Year of Gratitude: Day Six

Today I am grateful for my husband, Bryson.  He is a smart, caring, technologically-savvy man and a good father, and he tolerates my sense of humor.  Bryson goes to work and school allowing me to stay home and take care of our kiddos.  Without him, our family wouldn't be what it is today, and for that - and so much more - I am incredibly grateful.

A Year of Gratitude: Day Five (a day late)

Every now and then I think of someone who I never see anymore; this man had a huge impact on my life, and without him and his expertise I wouldn't be a mom.

Today I am grateful for Dr. William Dodds, our fertility specialist.  I have never written about it here before, though I think I've eluded to it a few times, but Bryson and I encountered trouble conceiving.  It wasn't all a surprise; we knew before we even began trying that my having polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) was going to make a challenge.  But we never expected it to go the way it did, taking nearly two years to get pregnant with Baylor and going through a bunch of procedures to get there.  We learned about and went through things we couldn't pronounce, like "hysterosalpingogram".  We tried intrauterine insemination (IUI) twice, I believe, with no baby.  Finally, during a diagnostic laparoscopy, Dr. Dodds discovered stage four endometriosis, cleaned that out, and just over a month later I was sobbing in the bathroom with a plus sign in my hand.  And through it all, I felt supported by this intensely caffeinated, optimistic, intelligent man who worked so hard to help us make the family we so desired.

Almost every year since I have sent him a Christmas card with a photo and an update on the family, and every year that I've written he has called to say he got it and that he is glad all is well.  Not many doctors would take the time to do that, but that's just who Dr. Dodds is.  And I am grateful for him.

On a side note:  Infertility is an incredibly isolating experience; the disappointments and heartbreak make you feel like no one else could possibly understand what you are going through, and the jealousy you feel as you see friends and family have children is confusing and painful.  I was lucky enough (if you can call it that) to have an aunt who went through a similar experience whom I was able to talk to.  I know lots of people often suffer through this "process" alone, and I want to encourage anyone who reads this and who may be experiencing infertility issues to reach out to someone.  I am always open to talking to people about this, but there are also many therapists and counselors who specialize in dealing with these issues.  Please don't feel like you are alone; adding to the stress of the procedures and the emotional pain by isolating yourself could actually lengthen the time it takes to get pregnant.  Reach out and you're likely to find someone who can help shoulder your worries.

A Year of Gratitude: Day Four

Today I am grateful for the "I love yous" I get from the kiddos.  Particularly with Baylor being on the spectrum, I know how lucky I am that he is at all affectionate.  And anyone who is close with him can tell you that he is often the epitome of affection; he's quick with a hug and an I-love-you and often just likes to be close to those he loves.  Mollie, bless her heart, has followed suit and is just as affectionate as her dear brother.  I know it won't last forever, all this open affection and love towards their mom, so I'm soaking it in now and storing it up so I'll remember later, when they're older, just how much they love me.  I hope they'll always know just how much I love them, too.

A Year of Gratitude: Day Three

Today I am grateful for my children's health.  Yes, they have both been sick basically since the start of school with one cold or another, but by and large they are healthy.  They don't have any severe allergies or asthma, they are able-bodied, and they are developing well, and every day I thank my lucky stars for that.

A Year of Gratitude: Day Two

I realized soon after writing yesterday's post that it was probably odd (and somewhat polarizing) to write about the election right off the bat.  While I try not to regret things I've written on here, I'm disappointed I didn't think things through and write that post a little later; it's all true, but putting it first was a bit odd and it probably placed a bit more importance on that particular "grat" than it deserved.  So having said that ...

Today I am thankful for my children.  I have two amazing, hilarious, delightful children who make life new again every day.  From day one, Baylor was always the happy, calm child; he rarely got upset as an infant and young toddler, and he was happy so much of the time.  So when we got pregnant with Amalia, I envisioned that we would just have a second Baylor, another chill kiddo.  Of course, no two children are alike and our dramatic, lovable Amalia made a splash right from the get-go.  At first, I'll admit, I was shaken; I didn't know how to deal with all the emotion, with all the highs and lows she threw my way.  Baylor and I were, and still are, so much alike that it was easy to understand his ways; Mollie was a bit of a mystery to me at first.  But as she's grown up, and as she's begun to express herself, I so appreciate what she brings to our family; all the joy and silliness and drama that makes life a little more interesting.

And I am incredibly lucky that my two children, so different in demeanor, get along exceedingly well.  They actually love each other and express it on a regular basis without prompting.  They make each other laugh and play well with each other, most of the time anyways.  And they bring out the best in each other; Mollie helps Baylor relax and teaches him what to expect from other kids, and Baylor teaches Mollie about numbers and letters and helps temper her energy and drama ... some of the time.  I'm so glad to see them becoming friends, and I couldn't be prouder of them in every way.

Have a wonderful day!

A Year of Gratitude: Day One

So, I meant to start this yesterday, on my 31st birthday, but life being what it is I didn't; by the end of the day I was so exhausted I didn't feel like moving much, and even dragging my fingers across a keyboard seemed like too much.  Instead I'll start it today, November 8th, and it'll be a good thing, right?

But I'm getting ahead of myself here.  You have no idea what I'm talking about.

I've seen a lot of "gratitude" posts on facebook lately and they have been quite inspiring.  Sometimes they're "big" things people are grateful for, like family and friends and jobs and whatnot, and sometimes they're "small", like the morning latte that gets your day off to the right start or a favorite couch to plop down on at the end of it.  In my own life I've noticed that I'm getting bogged down by the little things, a dishwasher that makes everything on the top rack dirtier, a never-ending pile of laundry, etc.  And one night about a week or two ago as I was unloading the aforementioned dishwasher and grumbling to myself, I thought to myself, "Nicole, this is ridiculous.  You have a wonderful life; amazing children, a loving husband, a warm home, supportive family and friends, and relatively great health.  What on earth is your problem?!"

At that moment I decided that I needed a shift in perspective; a heart holding so much negativity in it will harden with time, and I don't want that for myself.  I want to keep my heart warm and pliable, ready to give and receive love and happiness wherever possible, wherever needed.  So instead of a 30-day or 45-day gratitude list, I'm going to try for a 365-day gratitude shift because that's what I need ... a shift.  And I'm worried that 30 or 45 days just won't cut it.  I'm hoping to post every day (yikes!) and I'm hoping to avoid repeats for as long as possible;  I must have 365 things/people in my life to be grateful for, right?!  It will be in no particular order, with no agenda.  There will be "big" grats and "small" grats (Can we just call them "grats"?  Things-I'm-grateful-for is quite long to type out ... just think about it.  If you have a better word, let me know in the comments!) mixed throughout.  Some days the posts will be short - even just a word if it's all I need or all I can muster, and some days the posts will be long, maybe even with a picture.  And I'd love for anyone who is interested to join in with me in the comments or on your own blog.

So here it goes ... day one!

Today I am grateful for the election being over with.  It always happens right around my birthday and as I'm not a fan of politics in general, I really appreciate it when the whole shebang is over with for my "big" day.  I am glad Barack Obama has been reelected, but I'm also just plain relieved that it wasn't so close that a recount was needed a la 2000 Gore/Bush election.  I'm now just hopeful that the country, congress and the president included, as a whole to fix what's broken, right what's wrong, and lift up this country and the people in it.  

Have a wonderful day!

Fall at the Zoo: Funiculars and Otters and Flamingos, Oh My!

One day in mid-October we had a bit of a warm-up of sorts, so after Mollie and I picked Baylor up from school we all headed down to the zoo for a little fun.  They had opened up the new funicular since our last visit, and I knew Baylor was itching to take a ride.  I did not know, however, that it costs $3.00 per person ONE WAY, so we only rode it up; I was not prepared to sink $18.00 into a glorified elevator ride.

It was a pretty slow ride up, but with the leaves changing colors it was quite pretty.

I was pleasantly surprised at how cool the kids were about not taking the trip back down, and we started making our way back down to the main part of the zoo on the gorgeous trail they've blazed through the trees.

Our first stop was the frog room, but it was quite noisy and all they wanted to do was push the buttons to hear the frogs croaking so I quickly ushered them out of there.

Of course by that point they were famished, so we found a picnic table and had a snack.

We next visited the otter, a perennial favorite, and this time proved to be no different.  At first he was out of the water checking things out ...

... but while the kids were enjoying some raisins on the bench, he dove in and gave them a show.  The water was quite murky, though, and I couldn't get any good pictures.

After his brief swim, he headed back up to the rocks to sun himself and dry off.

We soon moved on and stopped by to see the bears.  Whereas the other animals were up and about way more than usual, the bears were quite sedate.  It looked like they were about to go into hibernation mode, so we moved on pretty quickly.

We next visited the mountain lion and were greeted by him/her personally.  I have never seen this particular animal so active and so up close, and it was a real treat.

Seriously, the cat was about five feet away from us.  It was amazing and beautiful.

The kids were decidedly less impressed and moved on to the informational door flaps about animal tracks.

But I just couldn't get enough of the mountain lion.

We hemmed and hawed over our next move; neither kid is wild about the penguin area, likely because it is so noisy, so the aquarium has never held much appeal, but Baylor is a creature of habit and didn't want to miss it.  So off we went.  As per usual, we flew by the penguins and landed in front of the giant fish tank.  Mollie commented that the fish looked "sad".  Upon closer inspection, I understood why ... all their mouths are turned downward.

Good observation, little lady!

Finally it was time for lunch.  Ordinarily I would have packed us a lunch, but this was a spur-of-the-moment sort of trip so we headed over to the concession stand.  Unfortunately they have changed their offerings quite a bit since the last time I ate at the zoo, and they now only offer pizza or hot dogs.  We opted for the former and waited a bit while it cooked.

The pizza was okay, about as good as zoo concession stand pizza is going to get, but the kids ate it with gusto.

Of course, there were gum ball machines filled with gum and candy and toys only a few feet away from out table, and it was tough for me to deny them a cheap treat after they'd done so well with the impromptu lunch.  Mike and Ikes, anyone?

After finishing lunch, we made our way to the nocturnal animal/reptile house, and I was pleasantly surprised at how active the animals were at that time of day.  The snakes, in particular, were up and about, and while it really freaked the kids out at first, it was awesome to see them actually moving.

Next up we visited the African animal exhibits.  The chimpanzees were very mobile that day, and we got to watch them walk around a bit.  Of course, the kids got pretty distracted when we came upon a little girl of about 5 or 6 who was there with her mom and could not stop commenting on how "gross" the chimps' butts were.

We moved on from her as quickly as I could get the kids to, and we next visited the lion exhibit.  Instead of heading to the glass window on the ground level first, we actually made the climb all the way up to the lookout above ... only to find that the lion was resting right in front of the ground-level window.  Such is life.  Either way, the kids were totally unimpressed by the lion resting six feet away from them, so we made our way to another exhibit.  Of course, we had to try out the drums a little first.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the flamingos were still there, and though some of them were napping we at least got to see them up close.

Of course, when one flamingo, who was very awake, started creeping his way towards us, the kids were ready to leave.

Much to their chagrin, I started ushering them toward the zoo exit.  But first we got to say hi to one of my favorite zoo animals, the capybara.  It must have felt pretty warm to him that day because we found him in the middle of a swim!  It was pretty awesome to see him paddling and diving about.

The kids were pretty upset to leave, but I took that as a sign that they'd had a lot of fun and I'm glad that our last visit to the zoo for the year went so well.  Now we have lots to look forward to for next year!