Amalia: Shhhh! I don't want the toaster oven to see me!
Me: You don't want the toaster oven to see you?
Amalia: No! It's a bad guy camera!
(After being asked not to say "crap" anymore ...)
Baylor: Mom, when can I get in the pool?
Me: Wait until the big hand splits the two in half. (about 2 - 3 more minutes) That should give your sunscreen enough time to soak in.
Baylor: That long?! Ugh! It's freakin' hot out here!
Baylor: Uh oh, did I say "crap"?
(When tending to her dahlias, some of which were giving her fits ...)
Oma: Baylor, could you ask Aunt Christine if the problem child needs any water?
Baylor: (after thinking for a moment) Aunt Christine, does Mollie need any water?
Baylor: Mom, your thoughts have inspirated me.