Thursday, July 3, 2014

That's What They Said: Understand?

(after entering Amalia's room to see what she and Baylor were up to ...)
Amalia:  Mommy, this room is not made for disco.
Me:  (nodding in earnest)  Okay.
Amalia:  Here is my disco light.  (hands me an imaginary disco light)  Could you please put that with my toys?
Me:  Sure.

(in the middle of the night in Florida, Amalia got up to pee and tripped on her way there ...)
Amalia:  Owwwww!!  Mommmyyyyyy!  Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy!
Me:  (getting there with drowsy speed)  What is it, sweetie?
Amalia:  I hurt my toe!  I hurt my TOE!
Me:  Okay, sweetie, sit down and let's take a look.  Which toe is it?
Amalia:  The thumb toe.
Me:  (smiling)  The thumb toe.  Okay.  Usually we call that "the big toe" or "Sergeant Hulka".

(after Amalia had been screaming and yelling at me through the house - like she was mortally wounded - while I was using the restroom only to find out that she couldn't figure out where a Lego went ...)
Me:  Amalia, I am very upset, angry, and frustrated at you screaming for me over this tiny piece.  I didn't know if you were dying or hurt very badly.  How will I know if you are really hurt if I also know that you'll cry endlessly over not being able to figure out where a Lego steering wheel goes?
Amalia:  (shrugs shoulders and looks a little ... disinterested and remarkably calm)
Me:  Next time, I want you to ...
Baylor:  (interrupting uncharacteristically)  Um, I am not a part of all this (gestures at the air between Mollie and me), so I am not going to be a part of this talk, okay?

(as we were watching a video about Yellowstone National Park and the volcano underneath it - it is fascinating, if not a little terrifying, you really should watch it sometime)
Narrator:  ... and blasted by the biggest volcanic eruptions ever known on the planet.
Amalia:  (light a light bulb went off in her head)  Oh, well that explains it.

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