Esquela!: Flying Solo

This past Friday, February 10th, my son, my beautiful boy, went to his Friday class without me.

Deep breath, Nicole.

I dropped him off at the door in the capable hands of his autism specialist, and after snapping a quick picture through the wet car windows (because no matter how upset I might be, the dork in me just won't go away) I left the parking lot sobbing.  He looked so nervous and scared as he walked away from me, that I couldn't help it; I was so worried for him, so hoping this would go well.  Even now as I type this I'm getting all choked up.

After dropping off a card at the post office, talking to one of my best friends - who had already done the dropping-the-oldest-kid-off-at-school thing before - to calm me down, I drove back to the school and sat in the parking lot, car running, like a total dork.  I read a funny book my sister had gotten me for Christmas as I sat there and laughed a lot less than usual.  (Seriously, though, if you are in need of a hilarious read, I highly recommend Notes from the Underwire, by Quinn Cummings.  This book has made me laugh harder than any book has in a LONG time.)

Once his hour was up, Baylor emerged from the school, happy to see me and excited to go to Toys R US, which is where we were headed next (after picking up my mom and Mollie, of course).  His specialist told me that he did a great job, though he remained an observer on the periphery most of the time.  All in all, a great start to his solo school visits.

Later on, I asked him when we were alone, "Baylor, what did you think of school today?  I mean really, honestly ..."

He sat there in silence just playing with his Legos, not responding at all.

"Was it a little scary?"  I probed, hoping for something ... anything.

Then he spoke.  "Yeah, it was a little scary at first, but then it was okay."  So matter-of-fact.  So calm.

And such a relief to his mom.  There is hope yet for him to like school.  And I couldn't be happier.