The ADD Monster

Most of you probably don't know this, but I have attention deficit disorder (ADD).  I wasn't diagnosed until my freshman year of college, though it seems to have been present all my life.  My mom always wondered why it took me hours to finish my homework, but because I don't have the hyperactivity component that many people have and always did well in school it was just an annoying habit I seemed to have.  After I was diagnosed, I took Ritalin for a little while and learned ways to cope with the disorder as best I can.  But, as much as it drives me and those close to me crazy, I can't shake it; it's part of who I am.  It affects my everyday life in so many ways, ways I can't even describe to you.  Simple tasks become endless odysseys, trips to the store take an eternity, and time is lost in the blink of an eye.  Our house is a bit of a mess most days, and my to-do list is unending.  Why, you ask?  Here's what happens when I try to do a simple task ...

The scene: Both of the kids are down for a nap after lunch, and I'd like a drink of water before I get to cleaning up the downstairs.  After filling up my cup, I realize the Brita needs to be refilled.

The task: Refill the Brita.

• Go to the sink, see that the dishes from lunch are in the way of getting the pitcher under the faucet.  Put the Brita on the counter to do enough dishes to get it under the faucet.
• See that Mollie's bib needs to be washed.  Wash it before the oatmeal hardens, then take it into the laundry room to hang it on the drying rack.
• While in the laundry room, remember that I wanted to do the laundry while the kids were napping.  Hang up Mollie's bib then head upstairs to sort clothes.
• Start sorting the clothes in our bedroom.  Ahh, the towels haven't been washed in an eternity ... better do those first.
• Notice that the toilet paper is low; get that from under the sink.   Catch a glimpse of self in the mirror and realize eyebrows have gone Sasquatch ... pluck immediately.
• Grab all the towels and bathmats and chuck into a basket.
• Resume sorting all the clothes.  Bring most important load downstairs to be washed.
• Get the load in the washer.  Meanwhile, notice that the laundry room stinks to high heaven.  Promptly take out the trash in the diaper pail.
• Go to the fridge to grab a York Peppermint Patty for a snack and notice the Brita is missing. 
• Resume doing the dishes so the Brita can be filled.
• Refill the Brita.

This was the shortest example I could think of.  Seriously.  Almost all of my tasks end up being a giant circle; start one spot, get sidetracked, start tens of other tasks, end up at first task and complete it, then move to one of the other tasks I started along the way.  Repeat.  It's infuriating.

To cope, I try really hard to write down what I can (my thoughts are often fleeting), make sure things have their proper home and try to return them to their home as soon as possible after use (cuts down on the number of times I get sidetracked), and go as fast and as hard as I can for as long as I can so I get the most done (that's what she said). 

So why am I writing about this?  Well, in part to raise awareness for ADD; a lot of people have heard about it, but not a lot of people know exactly how it affects an adult.  I think most people think of it as a childhood disorder, but there are a lot of adults out there (Hi, Aunt Diane!) who struggle with it everyday.

I'm also writing about it to help explain why I've been so silent on the blog lately.  I want to write on it so badly; I think about it all the time.  But my circuitous way of life keeps me going from the time I get up until the time I go to bed. 

I'm working on it.  I am.  And please know that I haven't gone away; I will post more pictures and write more soon.  As soon as I can ... it keeps me sane, you know?

Have a wonderful night!