Last night was bad. Oy, it was bad ... at least I think it was.
Let me start over. We decided to start seeing a new pediatrician this week. Our former ped was fine; he was a very nice man, soft-spoken with a very calming demeanor. That said, it took me a half an hour just to get there, and sometimes it felt like we had to pull information out of him. So we're now seeing a new doc only twelve minutes away from our house. He's a lot different than the last ped, much more gregarious and opinionated. He has four kids himself, so he is well-versed in hands-on child care, and he seemed to take an instant liking to our son.
That being said, I am now wondering about some advice he gave to us. I asked him about sleeping through the night and whether or not our son should be allowed to "cry it out". The doc said that our boy is old enough and big enough to do it and that we should take three nights and just let him cry himself to sleep if he wakes up in the middle of the night (and isn't in pain - he has a tendency to have a lot of gas).
So we tried it last night. He woke up at about 3:37 a.m. and began to cry a bit. After more than twenty minutes of hearing my beautiful baby cry and moan, my husband asked if I thought he had possibly rolled over (he's done it a couple times, but usually gets his left arm stuck underneath himself), so I went in to check on him. Even in the darkness I'm pretty sure he could still see me, and he promptly calmed down but did not stop whimpering. I then had to decide whether or not to touch him or pick him up. (sigh) I'm pretty sure I made the wrong decision ... I picked him up. Of course, he was happy as a clam when I did this, but he was awake and then thought he was going to be fed. Sadly, he was right. Agh, why did I do that?! Twenty minutes of agony, down the toilet.
After he ate, he quickly fell back asleep and I was left to dejectedly wander back to bed. I couldn't sleep for a while, wondering if I had made a critical error in our efforts to get our baby to be a "good sleeper". In the darkness, I also began to wonder if I had somehow scarred my boy for life. Would he now think that we won't be there for him when he needs us? For those twenty minutes did he feel like he had been abandoned? The thought almost sent me to tears.
My son woke up this morning at around 8:30 and was a little fussier than usual, but overall he was fine. He played on his playmat and wondered at the block my sister knit for him for Christmas and by 10:00 he was ready to eat again. As I fed him, my husband and I discussed last night's events, wondering if we did ANYTHING right.
I really hate to question the advice of our ped, because it's their job to know what to do with a baby, but I'm not sure if letting our four month-old son cry it out was the best idea. Granted, at 18 lbs. 3 oz. and 28 inches long, he looks more like an eight month-old baby, but shouldn't age matter more than size?
The baby book we have says not to let him cry at night at all until he's six months old and then to do a controlled crying technique to teach him how to soothe himself when he wakes up at night. Should we do that?
Any advice for a couple of very confused parents?
3 comments:
I would say, get your hands on "The No Cry Sleep Solution".
http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Through/dp/0071381392
I have heard good things about this. I also like Dr. Sears' book about parenting and such. He has a ton of different ones.
Also, I have learned to parent more by instinct than by what my doctor says. After all, they are only human as well. And every baby is not the same.
:D
My first slept through the night starting at 6 weeks and would only wake-up if he was sick or teething. It never lasted more than 2 nights. We didn't do a thing...it was all him.
My second woke up religiously once a night until we fully weaned him from bottles at a year old. It was three nights of torture and he's been a fantastic sleeper since. We tried at 6 months old to let him cry it out in the middle of the night but it was a no go. He was also a big healthy boy and until he was eating a diet of solid foods he just needed the extra calories.
My third started sleeping through the night at 9 months old with one night of us forgetting to turn on the baby monitor and we slept through her wake-up. I wish we had tried cutting out the night feeding sooner with her.
The point of my long post, each kid is different and you'll know if he's waking out of habit or waking out of need.
I've heard good tings about the No Cry Sleep Solution and The Happiest Baby on the Block...but I could never bring myself to read parenting books.
I say follow your instinct... if it doesn't feel right to cry it out, don't do it :)
Don't worry your little man won't be waking up through the night as a teenager ... someday he will sleep through the night.
My daughter didn't do it regularly until around 1 year, the same time I stopped nursing.
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