A Treadmill vs. A Run Outdoors: Why We're Having Only Two

I've been wanting to write this post for almost a week now ... clearly this new addition has taken some getting-used-to.

I have thought a lot recently about Michelle Duggar. You know, the "19 Kids and Counting" mom of TLC fame? For the past twenty-two years this woman has been popping out one to two kids (she has two sets of twins) every eighteen months or so. While I appreciate that this is the lifestyle she has chosen, I cannot for the life of me understand it.

I feel like Baylor's personality is emerging more and more everyday, and it kills me a little bit that I missed even a moment of him taking shape, becoming "Baylor". Don't get me wrong, I love Amalia and am thrilled that she has joined our family, but I am not a fan of the newborn time of life. There is so much uncertainty; from "why is she crying" to "should I wake her up to feed her", there is no way for me to know for sure if what I'm doing is right or not. And there's the breastfeeding; I know it's good for my babies so I do it for a year, but I don't feel like it's this huge bonding experience and I don't really like whipping my boobs out in mixed company. Those two factors, plus the burping, spitting up, constant poop, and floppy head make this a time I just cannot entirely enjoy. I wish I could, but for me it's like being on a treadmill all the time - it's exhausting.

Truth be told, I like this whole toddler time a lot. I like that he smiles when he comes down to see me in the morning, how he tells a little story about the elevator he rode when he come to visit us at the hospital, how he is curious about EVERYTHING. Yeah, it's exhausting when he realizes he's tall enough to reach this or that and when he climbs onto things he shouldn't, but he's a little man coming into his own and it's exciting to see him discovering the world. And I like being the one to show him new things and try to come up with ways to explain things to him. It's fun, it's exciting, and though it's just as exhausting as the treadmill days of a newborn it's more akin to running outside ... there's always a new challenge, a new sight, a new bit of the world to enjoy.

So this is, in part, why we're only having two. I can only do this twice. I can only do the c-section/newborn time combination twice. I like a good run outdoors, and I can't stand the thought of missing my outdoor runs to run the treadmill a few more times.

But that's just me.