A Pity Party For My Hosed Legs

For the last week I have been stuffing myself, sausage-style, into a tight pair of over-the-belly compression hose. They are exceedingly uncomfortable, both because the lady at the store had me purchase the tighter compression ones and because my swelling is getting worse by the day. Every morning it is a struggle to smush myself into them, and every night I wrestle with them to get them off.

Yesterday, however, was a different story. Just when I thought I finally had it figured out how to best put them on, I was hit with a twist ... literally. My right leg was all twisted up, from knee to thigh, making them even more uncomfortable than they were before. Ordinarily I would have just let it go, but I could barely walk with them twisted so badly. So, broken-hearted, I peeled them off and tried again.

Again, I got them all the way up, with much straining and heavy-breathing, only to have the stupid right leg all twisted. At this point, I broke down into tears. My showering was for naught; I was sweaty from still being warm from the shower and the exertion it took to tug this torture device up my legs and over my belly. I was exceedingly tired, from being pregnant, from the aforementioned exertion, and from not getting to bed early enough the night before. And I was frustrated that these hose were besting me; I thought I had them all figured out, I had carefully gathered them for optimal application, and still they were twisted.

Unable to stand the twisty-ness, I pulled them off yet again, took a moment to sob into my pillow, sat on my bed, and tried for a third time to put these damn things on. The third time was kind of the charm; the twisting was tolerable and I could move with them on. Still crying, I readied myself for the rest of the day, mad that the whole "getting dressed" event took me more than a half an hour. Eventually, I pulled it together and got through the rest of my day.

Knowing what a pain they had been yesterday, I decided to take a closer look at my compression hose this morning. Imagine my COMPLETE surprise when I found that the right leg was sewn on backward.

Yup, you heard that right.

The toe is pointed in the opposite direction of the belly! The toes DO NOT point in the same direction! (Insert expletive here.) So no matter how much I wrestle with them, that right leg is pretty much always going to feel twisted because ... IT IS! Ugh.

I don't know how this escaped me for the first five days of wear, but it is bugging the crap out of me now. If both toes were pointed the other way, I would chalk it up to how compression hose are supposed to be. But only one leg is this way, so I have to believe it's a mistake. One I intend to correct, today if possible.

Just one more thing to add to the Tick Tock List. Grrr.