Last week, the Wall Street Journal published an article that was an excerpt from the new book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, by Amy Chua. The article had an inflammatory title, Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, so I was compelled to read it, and in doing so I dove into a world I didn't really know existed. Read the article. It's amazing. And slightly appalling. This woman berated her children, restricted them, called them garbage, and pushed and punished them into the model children she wanted. According to a follow-up article, she had to change her ways - actually, that is what her book is apparently about - but they don't seem to have changed that much, even to her own eye.
Mothers across the nation pushed back, calling Chua abusive and asserting she has done irreparable damage to her daughters. You can read some of the articles here, here, here, here, and here, to list a few. Read them if you like, and read the comments for even more vitriol.
I personally don't have a mode of mothering; I do what I can, when I can, and strive every day to do my best. Will my kids play at Carnegie Hall? Likely not. But will they be happy? Will they be healthy? Will they be good, kind people? I hope so.
I'll be honest, I have been trying to write this post for some time now. I had the title and the move to write, but I had no idea what to say. I guess I still don't, not exactly anyways. But I suppose it all comes down to the idea that, as moms, we do the best we can with what we've been given. Each mother is different, given her background, how she was raised, what she believes, and the like. And each child is different; that much is most certainly true. We do what we can with no instructions, winging it all the way.
I don't agree with Ms. Chua's parenting style; I can't wrap my head around ever saying half of the things she said to her daughters to my children. Hell, I can't even imagine saying any of that to a complete stranger. But that is her way, and she's doing what she thinks is best.
For a couple refreshing and honest views of motherhood, check out this blog and this post.
And I'd love to hear from you all. What do you have to say?
1 comment:
When I was a young mom, I always wondered what my kids would be like as they grew older. Now that my kids are young adults, I see so many traits in them that are just like me. Be a role model for your kids, they'll make you proud!
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