Alright, dear readers, I have a question for you ...
Recently I was at a friend's house for dinner, and she started talking about how she received a note from me in the mail. Perplexed at first, she thought I might have been ahead of the game for Mollie's birthday and was already sending out invitations. When she opened the card, though, she found it to be a thank you note for the Christmas gifts she gave the kids.
We all started talking about thank you note etiquette, and my husband and both our friends said that they hadn't had to write thank you notes until they graduated from high school and received graduation gifts. I was shocked, to say the least. In my family, we were expected to write thank you notes for every, single gift we received. Every birthday gift, every Christmas gift, and obviously graduation gifts, shower gifts, and wedding gifts ... each would require a thank you note.
I went to the Emily Post website to figure out who was more in line with what is conventional etiquette, me or my husband and friends. I was surprised to find out that my family's habits were further from "standard".
So I was wondering, what is your stance on writing and sending thank you notes? Do you wait for the big occasions? Send them for every last little thing? Or somewhere in between?
6 comments:
I write them for everything! I am totally with you on this. People have gotten away from this practice and it is sad. Thank you goes a long way and there is nothing like getting a hand written note in the mail.
We are so bad at writing thank you notes that we still haven't gotten all of the ones from the reception sent--sooooo horible-I know!
I really wish that my parents would have instilled the importance of a thank you note in me at a young age. It was actually one of my goals for 2011. Send more thank you notes!
I write them for everything. As a child we had to include what we spent money on if it was a monetary gift. I've been bad this year and haven't gotten all of our notes written from Christmas or Evie's baptism.
Rachel, I totally agree ... I LOVE sending snail mail and think that a handwritten note says so much more than a typed one can.
Annie, I think that is a great goal! As soon as Baylor and Mollie have the patience for it, they are going to be helping write their thank yous; I think it is so important for parents to model this for their kiddos.
Jocelyn, I still tell people what I'm going to use the money/gift card for! I think people will give you a pass on not having written notes yet ... you're a new mom! :o)
Thanks for your comments!
Nicole,
This is a topic I feel really strongly about - I had to write handwritten notes for all gifts I received growing up - birthday, Christmas or anything 'just because'. Even before I could write, my parents encouraged us to draw a picture expressing our thanks to friends and relatives that had thought of us in a special way or given us a gift.
In addition to the act of ‘thanking’ someone I think a thank you note is a way to let the giver know you have actually received the gift. We have several family members who never send notes or acknowledge our gifts. Sometimes I have to wonder – did they receive the gift (since we send a lot of things to Michigan or other family out of state) and what did they think of it?
For example, we got our nephew a few magazine subscriptions and never got a thank you or heard about it from him. This Christmas (a year later) his mom mentioned how much he loved the gifts last year and he looked forward to getting the mail everyday to find his new issue. We would have renewed his subscriptions as part of his present this year, but we assumed our gift was not well received since had not hear anything.
I have an open mind about receiving ‘Thank Yous’ via email, phone call or dare I say Facebook – I try to understand everyone has a different style. But, a good old fashion handwritten note is still the best in my book!
You are such a good mom to teach the value of the simple act of a ‘thank you’ from childhood – when it’s a normal part of life events it is a lot easier to keep up throughout adulthood.
Alexis, I totally agree! I want the kids to understand that this is just what you do. I try to be really forgiving of others when they don't send thank yous, but you're right ... you then never know if the person liked the gift and if you should keep up with something (if applicable). Thanks for the comment!
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