Wednesday, April 3, 2013

That's What They Said: The Baylor and Bryson Edition

Baylor:  Mommy, when you buy the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport ... (whispering) ... make sure you use a gift card.

(Sorry, honey, I couldn't resist!)
Me:  (pointing at a dish towel) Ugh, that stinks!
Bryson:  Yeah.
Me:  Ugh, smell it!
Bryson:  The coffee?
Me:  No!  The towel.  The towel stinks.
Bryson:  (sniffs it)  It smells like cleaner.
Me:  Ugh, it smells like a wet dog to me.
Bryson:  Oh, I can see that.

Bryson:  Baylor, what are the planets named after?
Baylor:  I don't know.
Bryson:  I think you do, buddy.  Think about it ... what are the planets named after?
Baylor:  I'll give you a hint.
Bryson:  (smiling)  Okay, give me a hint.
Baylor:  Born on the 25th.
Me:  (joking)  Aunt Christine?
Baylor:  (smiling)  No.
Bryson:  Jesus?
Baylor:  Yeah!
Bryson:  Oh, buddy, the planets aren't named after Jesus.
Baylor:  Yeah.
Me:  Bryson, are you sure?  (pause) I'm going upstairs to get the book.
(We sat for a while and went through all the planets, we talked all about who the planets were named after.  Then Bryson went upstairs for a bit, and Baylor and I talked.  I was still wondering, though.)
Me:  Baylor, why did you think the planets were named after Jesus?
Baylor:  Because they were.
Me:  But who were they really named after?
Baylor:  (looking at me like I was nuts)  Jesus.
Me:  (after thinking for a minute)  Wait, Baylor, do you think Jesus is God?
Baylor:  Yeah!
Me:  Ahhhh.
(Then we had a brief theological discussion that ended quite short of a full explanation when he got sidetracked on his favorite page: the space shuttle.)

Baylor:  Mommy, have you ever heard of the Ferarri GINA F430 Roadster?
Me:  No, I don't think I have.
Baylor:  Oh, well, it's a pretty cool car.  Want to buy it?
Me:  How much is it?
Baylor:  (after thinking for a moment)  It's free!
Me:  Really?!  Oh, well then sure, I'd love to buy it.
Baylor:  Don't pay any money!
Me:  I won't.
Baylor:  Actually, it costs $15 million.
Me:  Whoa, that's a lot of money.
Baylor:  (thinking he's going up in price) Actually, it costs $1.15 million.
Me:  Wow, that's still a lot of money.
Baylor:  Actually, it costs $1.15 zillion!
Me:  Yikes!  I don't have that much money.
Baylor:  That's okay.  When you buy it, just use your credit card.

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