Hanging On

I'm hanging on, hanging in there like my good froggy friend here (he was chilling in the shade on our shepherd's hook). Only one of my nights has been really rough, but every night I get shorted on my sleep. I know I have nothing to complain about; other mothers, I'm sure, get much less sleep than I've been getting. I have Miss Mollie to thank; she is a pretty good sleeper, often going for four- and five-hour stretches much like her brother did at her age. But I'm still behind and it's early in the morning when I feel it most.

Take last night, for instance. I was sitting there at 5:30 a.m. trying to feed my little girl, and I knew I had to do my best to stay awake if I wanted to get back in bed for a bit before I needed to get up.

"You have to stay awake," I told myself. "Ooh, maybe do some butt clenches to keep yourself awake! That way you won't fall asleep AND you'll get a workout. That'd be great ... ZZZZZZ."

"Ugh! Stay awake! You have to or you'll never ... ZZZZZZZ."

Several minutes later ...

"Okay, she's done eating. Bring her down to burp her. There ya go! Aww, isn't she cute? *yawn* Alright, pat, pat, pat on her back. Just stay awaaaaa ... ZZZZZZZ."

At that point I woke up with Mollie in my hands, head cocked to the side, sound asleep, and decided it was okay if I just put her back in bed. Then I stumbled back to bed and collapsed for another hour or so.

And like now, I should probably be napping, but I've instead chosen to work on the blog; it makes me feel more like myself, gives me an outlet for all the thoughts/feelings/experiences/etc. I have building up in me all day long, and lets the people I love know how we're doing. Not to mention the fact that after a good nap I often feel so sleepy-drunk I can barely function. Since I have two kids to take care of, that isn't the best way to be and feel, so I'm going to just rest here at my desk and let my mind flow free.

I should be making dinner or doing laundry or cleaning our house, but right now I just need to sit.

So how are you?