Self-Improvement: Zumba and The Art of Letting Go

As I mentioned previously, I was very much in my head during my first Zumba class.  It was all so new to me, both the steps, some of the music, and all but one of the people.  Yes, I have taken a decent number of dance/aerobics classes before, but none as an adult (out of college) and none as a mother.  I was nervous, and perhaps that nervousness created in me a need to over-analyze everything around me.  Look at everything, Nicole, take it all in.  If you don't, you might miss something.

And I did miss something.  I missed the letting-go of it all.

In trying to be the best, though it was only my first class and I had NO idea what I was doing, in trying to observe and file everything I saw, I missed just letting go and moving.  Moving for the sake of moving.  Moving so I could let go of my stress, my worries, my bottled-up emotions.

The people around me were letting go, and I could see that even if I couldn't do it myself.  Our instructor Allie made a few mistakes, but she kept on smiling and moving - I could never do that.  There were two ladies in attendance who were probably in their late 60's or early 70's; neither were in excellent shape but both stuck with it, sat when they needed to, and unabashedly followed the steps they could and ignored the rest.  While I agonized over missing a step here and there, these ladies took their time, realized their limits, and enjoyed themselves.  Catching glimpses of them as we'd turn and dance around, I wondered if this is a personality flaw inherent in me - always needing to be perfect and precise - or if letting go is just something that comes with time and age.

Or maybe the art of letting go is really honed when you have kids; I know I am at my most uninhibited when I am around my children.  Case in point, my husband had never heard me sing until we had kids.  All of a sudden, I was singing all the live long day, whether I liked it or not.  Baylor and Mollie love it when I sing, so I do it because it makes them happy.  Am I a great singer?  Most definitely not.  Yikes ... no.  But they don't care ... so I don't care (much).  I've rapped to Murray Has a Little Lamb, belted out the Twelve Days of Christmas, verbally drummed the song Wipe Out, and most nights I perform my own (slightly sad) version of So Long, Farewell from the Sound of Music.  And they smile so it is worth every embarrassing second.

Whatever the case, my mission for each and every Zumba class from now on is to let go - enjoy the moment and don't worry about how the steps fall.  Who knows, maybe I'll be able to practice the art of letting go elsewhere in my life as a result.

Wouldn't that be grand?