That's What They Said: School, Percentages, and Brilliance

Me:  Baylor, it says here on the calendar that you get to make noise makers in school today!  Doesn't that sound like fun?
Baylor:  What are noise makers?
Me:  Well, I don't know exactly what they will be, but sometimes they are little things like maracas that you can use to make noise.
Baylor:  No, I think it is talking about the other kids in my class.  They are noise makers.



Baylor:  (while sitting on the potty and reading labels of cleaning products and soap on the sink)  It says, "Kills 99.9% of germs".  What does that mean?
Me:  Well, germs are things that can make us sick, so we use stuff like that to keep our house clean so we can stay healthy.  I have to go check on Mollie, I'll be right back, buddy.
Baylor:  (a minute or two later as he's washing his hands, crying)  Mommy!  Mommy!
Me:  (running into the bathroom)  What's wrong, buddy?!
Baylor:  (crying a little harder)  I'm killing all my germs!



Baylor:  (sweetly)  You get a Lego set for Mother's Day!  It's the Death Star.  Here you go!
Me:  That's great, buddy, but you know what I really want?  I really want you and your sister to eat.
Baylor:  (not-so-sweetly)  NOOOOO!!!!  I WILL NOT EAT!  That is NOT the gift I am giving you.
Me:  Baylor, the best gift you could give me would be to eat without crying and carrying on and taking forever.
Baylor:  NO!  Eating will make me die!
Me:  Oh, Baylor, it won't make you die.
Baylor:  Yes it will!  It will kill 99% of me!



Baylor:  (in a serious voice)  I am a spy.  (then light-heartedly) I am also a restaurant owner!



Me:  You guys, I am going to shovel snow while you are taking your nap/rest today.
Amalia:  Mommy, why don't you wait for spring?  It is almost here, then the snow will be all gone!