Last night was rough (how many times have I said that, huh?); my son was absolutely beside himself when I put him down for bed. We did the whole awake thing - I sneezed after I fed him so waking him up wasn't too difficult - and after "reading" him a couple stories I put him in his crib. Whoa, was he pissed about that!
Through all the crying, I realized why he was probably so upset and confused; everyday for his nap, if he cries with any intensity I pick him up. "We'll try again later," I say. Yeah, that is so not working for us.
Which brings me to right now. At this very moment, my son is six minutes away from having sobbed for an hour. He is exhausted but apparently very stubborn (like his Mama, no doubt). I have tried following Jo Frost's advice and have gone in at certain intervals to comfort him, set him back down, and reassure him that I have not, in fact, abandoned him.
Two minutes away from an hour ... he had stopped crying for a couple minutes there and I had hope that he might have fallen asleep.
Fast-forward six hours later ...
Yeah, no such luck. He cried that first try for an hour and twenty minutes. I then picked him up and he fell asleep almost right away in my arms. Of course, when I went to set him in bed he woke up and started crying again so the nap was aborted.
I ended up getting him to take a half hour nap (I admittedly nursed him to sleep ... I was desperate) in the middle of the day. And now I am trying for nap number three. He is pissed off about it, too. I wrestled him into submission and got him super drowsy then tried putting him in his crib ... and he woke up. If only his crib were made to feel like human arms all warm and snuggly, then maybe I could get him to sleep in it.
It's these moments, when I am by myself in the house listening to him sob, that I feel quite lonely. Given too much time to think about things with the saddest sound in the world carrying on upstairs, I am left to berate myself as a mother. "If he is so upset, could I possibly be a good mom?" "What on Earth am I doing wrong? It has to be something, doesn't it?"
I hate to blame this all on him; he's not even nine months old yet, after all. But is it at all possible he is just not a good napper? Apparently Bryson, my husband, wasn't a good napper. Am I just torturing the poor child by making him try to nap? It sounds like I'm torturing him; if we lived in an apartment I am sure that our neighbors would think I was abusing my poor child.
But I am not. I don't understand people that could do that to a child.
But I digress. Should I give up on trying to get him to nap, even though he looks tired throughout the day? And should I take into account the fact that he is a generally happy soul and will smile even if he is dog tired? Or does he just not need the sleep? Agh!
More crying ahead. If anyone gets sick of hearing about all this stuff, either let me know or stop reading. Sorry for being blunt, it's just where I am right now.
Hope you're having a fantastic day! And if you live in Grand Rapids, stop on by Festival ... it's a heck of a good time!
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