Drama, Drama, Drama

Hello, my name is Nicole, and I am addicted to drama. And you know what, I'm not alone. In my estimation, most of America is addicted to drama in some way, shape, or form. We seek it out daily, and it has shaped our culture significantly in recent years. From reality television to gossip magazines to blogs, we seem to be on an endless search for the drama high.

I know I do it on a daily basis; I read other people's blogs religiously, drinking them in as if their lives were my own, relishing in their ups and downs, triumphs and failures. I keep People.com up all the time on our home computer, refreshing it and checking it like a drug addict looking for his next high. To be honest, I took a pregnancy test this morning because of comments on a previous blog post of mine (and in part to satisfy my mom's curiosity), and even though I am exhausted most days chasing after my son I was kind of disappointed when it came up negative; pregnancy is the ultimate drama high. Every day is something new when you're pregnant: clothes don't fit, belly is bigger, someone is kicking, some sort of new symptom is appearing, is the baby a boy or a girl, etc. In spite of how crappy I felt most days at the end, I loved being pregnant ... the anticipatory, drama-filled nine months is unlike any other.

Sometimes, my cravings for drama seem to make me seem like a foul-weather friend; you know, that friend that is always there when something is going wrong but seems to fade to the background when everything is going smoothly. I feel like I am that girl sometimes. Maybe it's because I feel like that is my role in friendships - the moral/emotional/etc. help kind of friend. Maybe it's because I feel like, particularly for my friends that live farther away, that is the best way I can maintain my friendship - be there for them when they really need me. It could be both, it could be neither, but at least part of it is because I crave a little drama now and then ... sad as it is to admit.

I'd like to break this addiction, though going about it will be difficult. I would like to be a better friend and citizen; I would like to refocus on my own life and just be content with the status quo. Being content is highly underrated - it often gets a bad rap, like you're being lazy for not constantly searching for something. But I think slowing down and just appreciating what you've got is essential sometimes. So maybe that's what I need to do: slow it down, shut it off, hand write more letters, search out less gossip.

Maybe that's what I'll do. Won't you join me?