I had so hoped it wouldn't happen this time, but it has ... the cloudy skies of postpartum depression have settled over me once again. It came on with a vengeance in the hospital, a whole week ahead of when I got it after I had Baylor. This time, I immediately contacted my therapist and the hospital helped me up my dosage of antidepressant.
Still ...
Everything has a haze over it right now. I feel so incredibly out of control, and yet so responsible for two little lives. It's an overwhelming, crushing feeling, and I'm trying to figure out how to reconcile all of my emotions and find my new normal.
So, that all being said, I'm sorry if I haven't responded to any of the well-wishes and love you guys have sent out to me and my little family. I have kinda drawn into myself and haven't quite figured out how to keep up with friends and family while doing this whole mom-of-two thing. I'm sure I'll get it eventually. Until then, I apologize for any lack of communication on my part.
3 comments:
Hi Nicole - I'm just now catching up on your blog after about a week. Congratulations on your new little bundle of joy.
You'll get through this. Stay strong! XO
I'm so glad you wrote a post, Nicole. I was thinking about you this morning on my way to work (that I haven't seen a Facebook or blog post since your new bundle of joy arrived).
You are a great mom and wife. As Amber said, you will get through this!
I wanted to invite you to our Playgroup. The group has been a HUGE support for me. It's so nice to have a chance to get out of the house and talk with other moms and let the babies interact.
Most of the moms are first time moms, but there are a few who have other children as well. We just sit and talk and let the kids "play" (usually there's some sort of food as well).
We get together on Tuesdays (anytime after 10:00, but most people don't usually come until 11 or 12). We don't care if you aren't showered and you and your little ones are in pjs.
I'm sure when you're feeling like this, the last thing you want to do is get out of the house and meet new people. However, I found it to be such a big help for me to take that step and I can't wait for the playgroups every week now.
Anyway, I just wanted to invite you if you're ever interested in joining us. Most of us live in Rockford and we take turns hosting the group at our house (this summer we want to start meeting at a park and such). You are more than welcome to come tomorrow...just send me an email (tarah@benandtarah.com) and I can let you know where it is and get you directions.
But seriously, if you are EVER interested in joining us, just let me know.
Also, I wouldn't mind watching Baylor and/or Amalia for you if you want to get stuff done, take a nap, etc. Please don't hesitate to contact me and take me up on the idea.
Lastly, if you want to get together with Owen and me (at our house, your house, or somewhere in between) we'd love that as well.
Okay, I'm sorry this ended up being so long! I really just wanted to let you know that you're a great mom and I'd love to help out in any way that I can.
Hey Nicole! I'm so glad you wrote a new post. I'd asked the Aben's and Doug and Michelle if they had heard from you or Bryson at all since Amalia arrived. Not having anything but a mailing address for you there wasn't an easy way for me to try to get in touch to let you know you were being thought of.
I'm sorry that PPD has started again. I was very fortunate that if I had any at all it didn't stay long enough to effect me enough that I noticed. I wish I was closer to be able to offer more support. Know that I'm thinking of you and the Will, Aiden and I all send our best. I know that you are doing a terrific job. I read your posts all the time and think to myself that I should be doing so much more for and with Aiden. It's just hard sometimes after working a 9-10 hour day to come home with enough energy to do a lot here. Not to mention that by the time we get home, eat dinner, and go for a walk it's about 25min til bedtime.
I won't write too much. I know you have a lot going on and probably not a lot of time for the blog. But I'm sending you hugs and can't wait to see a new post from you soon and pictures of Baylor with his baby sister.
Hugs,
Ashley
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