Well, last night we did it. After a few consecutive nights of getting up three or four times with my son, we decided to try letting him cry it out.
It was AWFUL. Truly awful.
For one hour, my son sobbed ... alone ... in his crib. We went in there a few times during the course of the sob-fest, mainly to make sure he was okay and not standing up or anything that could only help to wake him up. But he just laid there, sobbing.
During the course of the hour, my heart broke over and over again as his crying changed. I could imagine what he was thinking: mommy has abandoned me, they don't love me anymore, I am all alone in the dark, I NEED her! And it reduced me to tears.
After the full hour, just as we were about to give in and help the poor guy out, he stopped crying and fell asleep. I have no idea how or why. And I don't know if we'll have to do this again tonight ... dear God, I hope not. I'm not sure my heart could take it.
He stayed asleep the rest of the night and is still asleep now at 8:00 a.m. (Knock on wood!) But I'm almost afraid for when he wakes up. Will he look at me like I have betrayed him? Abandoned him? Will that sparkle in his eyes be gone because he has seen what cruelty is? (Yes, I know that sounds dramatic and we weren't trying to be cruel, but it felt like we were anyway.) I want my son to still be himself after that horrible night.
We'll see, I guess.
4 comments:
He will be beautiful. And you are a good mother. I am really proud of you.
Don't worry! He loves you! Crying it out is so hard, but SOOO worth it! I will be praying that it only takes a few nights... but in the long run, it will totally pay off! I love reading your blog! I hope to see you again soon!!
Be strong! It only took 2 nights for my daughter to figure it out. He will still look at you the same, don't worry. Good Luck!
It was two nights of not fun at our house, and I've had the most amazing sleepers since. Yes, it does suck while you're doing it...but I can pretty much guarentee he won't remember. Do you have any memories during your 0-12 month age? :)
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